Quiet.

As an extrovert, one of the hardest things for me to do is be quiet.  I always want to be talking to someone, or listening to someone else talk to me (or even listening to my ipod talk to me).  Recently, however, God has helped me realize how this quality has carried over into my times with Him.  I find it so easy to talk to God, usually about the requests of others.  In fact, I have found that it is sometimes much easier to pray for others rather than pray through my complicated issues.  Perhaps I know deep down that when I do start praying through my own confessions and issues, I will have to be silent to hear God's response.  This is a scary thing to someone with my personality.  I am so intimidated by silence, especially when it comes to silence before the throne.  Heaven forbid that God reveal to me more sin in my life that I actually need to change (sense the sarcasm there?).  I think to myself, "If I keep babbling, keep reading the Bible without stopping to listen, and then keep talking to others about what I am learning in fellowship, I will grow...I don't have to have silent in my walk with the Lord."  My, how much am I missing out on in my relationship with God?!

Dietrich Bonhoeffer states in Life Together that "one who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings."  I fear that I have arrived in such a void.  I must make more time to be silent in my morning times with the Lord.  This does not mean journaling, reading, talking, or interceding.  It means sitting before the throne with a humble heart, ready to hear the voice of the Almighty, or even just sense His holy presence.  Father, may I come before you with a quiet heart.  As Andrew Murray puts it, may I "take time to be quiet and comprehend God."  Spiritual growth starts with a correct view of God, may I comprehend Him.